These headings are taken from SAND’s own research with LGBT+ people in Shropshire, Telford & Wrekin, as well as wider research. the downloadable ‘script’ which accompanies the diagram explains the headings and includes quotes which both bring them to life. These quotes also serve to illustrate the correlation between SAND’s own research in Shropshire, Telford & Wrekin, and that undertaken by others.
We find that we gather more and more examples every time we share this and so the circle grows and grows! That’s OK – we don’t ever use it all, just pick what is most helpful at any one time. The full ‘script’ is in this pdf file: click here.
Under each heading, alongside the quotes are also some basic discussion points and examples.
There is no priority or ‘right’ place to start and the headings are listed alphabetically for ease of reference. There are inevitably overlaps and connections between the different sections.
Here is a sneak preview to entice you to open the pdf ‘script’!
Learned deception and hidden lives
Many people say that ‘everything is alright now’ but for some, their ‘false’ public beings have been constructed over a lifetime, designed to protect and deceive in a way which keeps the individual safe. Some of us have got so good at it, that this persona is a truth all of its own which can lead to all sorts of complex situations.
Quotes from SAND Research:
- Our (grown) children do not know about our relationship – and they never will – we have kept everything separate, including our own halves of the house. If I was left on my own, my children would want me to live near them but I wouldn’t want to leave here.
- We’re all fairly closeted’ – it’s very hard. I have lied to (my children) all of their lives. I have been lying since I was 17 and every day it gets worse
Other older LGBT+ people may feel exposure and revelation when others come into the safe zone of their own home. They may feel that they have to hide anything which could reveal that they are LGBT, such as photographs of their partner, their past life, their friends, their social activities.
Quotes from SAND Research:
- What is in my house that might upset and offend someone who came in to care for me? Which pictures and books should I put away?
These hidden lives can backfire when we get older – when people no longer see the relevance of sexual orientation or gender identity as important and intrinsic to our identities in later life. This may help to explain why 100% of care homes in Powys reported that they have no LGBT+ people in their care!
Do you have LGBT+ people receiving your service/s? How many are hidden?